Smoke and Mirrors
by zohahusain
Summary: Rose Weasley stared at the girl in the mirror with the black hair and blood-red lip-stick. She didn't recognize herself anymore.


_Hey there! The title of this story was inspired by the album Smoke and Mirrors by Lifehouse, one of my favorite bands. I hope you like it!_

_**Disclaimer:**__ I wish Harry Potter belonged to me but of course, it doesn't._

**Smoke and Mirrors**

Rose Weasley's entire body relaxed as she inhaled the cigarette. She felt elated as the nicotine coursed through her veins. Every single muscle in her body loosened up. It felt wonderful. She smiled to herself. It was too bad that something that was so heavenly caused so much harm to your body. But Rose didn't really care about that. She didn't care about anything anymore.

She knew she shouldn't be smoking in the grounds where anyone could walk up and see her. But that was what made this even more exciting. Breaking the rules made her feel giddy. Rose wasn't like this a year ago. She used to abide by the rules and always finish her homework the day it was assigned. She used to be a model student which is why she was made prefect. But ever since her sixth year started, Rose had changed immensely.

It started with her not making any effort in class. All her Professors were shocked to see this change in Rose. But they were even more shocked when one day Rose showed up to class with her hair dyed black. Her change in appearance caused many heads to turn in the hallway followed by whispers of "what's happened to her?" and "do you think she's trying to get _his_ attention?"

Gradually, Rose's attitude changed too. She became bitter and people were scared to talk to her. She didn't do her prefect duties properly. No amount of lecturing from her Professors or cousins made her realize what she was doing to herself. She pushed everyone away, even her closest friends as she was afraid they would see through her mask and realize how weak she really was.

Rose didn't care though. She had put up walls around her as protection from ever being hurt again. She never wanted to give anyone else the opportunity to break her heart the way _he_ had.

She saw him around Hogwarts with Albus all the time. In the Great Hall during meals, in the hallways and the grounds. And every time she looked at him, her heart broke a little more. She tried her best to mask her emotions. To put up a strong front. She succeeded in pretending she didn't care anymore. Lily, her cousin, had stopped asking her about _him_ as she believed Rose didn't care anymore. It was as if she was drifting through life. Observing but not taking part in anything.

She thought she needed to change herself on the outside as well if she were to change completely on the inside. This is why she went through her cousin Victoire's book of spells for hair during Christmas break and changed her hair color to black. It seemed like the best choice. Something that scared people away when they saw her after break with kohl in her eyes and bright red lipstick smeared onto her lips. She looked intimidating this way and she knew it. She wanted people to stay away from her. To stop talking to her completely and leave her be.

Smoking was something Rose had read about in Muggle books. People talked about how exhilarating every single puff of a cigarette was. How it made them feel alive and happy and calmed their nerves. When Rose decided to try one, she was depressed and lonely and she knew she needed something in her life that made her happy. Smoking seemed like the perfect solution to her mood. And it really was. After that first cigarette, Rose was hooked. Smoking was the only thing that made her feel alive anymore.

As she took another puff of her cigarette, Rose heard footsteps and soon _he _was in front of her. Scorpius Malfoy's face was expressionless as his steely grey eyes bore into hers. She felt a little frightened by his sudden appearance and expression, or rather lack of expression, but tried not to show it.

"What do you want, Malfoy?" She asked him annoyed. Of all the times he could have come up and talked to her, he had to choose the time of day she had reserved for herself and her cigarette only.

"Rose. We need to talk." He said, still no expression on his face. _How did people do that?_ Rose wondered. She could never keep her face blank. She could look angry or happy without really feeling it but she could never make her face go completely blank.

"What perfect timing you have," she said, rolling her eyes.

"What's happened to you Rose?" he began. "You've changed completely. First you start slacking off in class then you dye your hair. You look like a completely different person. What's wrong?" He looked genuinely concerned now.

Rose laughed bitterly.

"You're actually going to ask me that? 'What's wrong?' As if you don't know that already! You ripped my heart out of my chest and kicked it aside and pretended you don't give a fuck about me! And I know that's not true. I can see it when you look at me. So why? Why'd you have to end it between us? Because of something that happened between our fathers when they were in Hogwarts? Because they can't seem to let go of the past? Why should we suffer because of them?" Rose wanted to break something. Her cigarette was on the ground now and she put it out feeling irritated since she didn't get to finish it.

Scorpius was looking down now. He was soft now and so full of hurt and sadness it tore Rose apart.

"You know I didn't want to do it." His voice was barely a whisper. "But we can't be together Rose. You deserve so much better. Just don't do this to yourself because of me."

With that he left, leaving her standing there, tears threatening to spill from her eyes. But she refused to cry. She could not break down. She had to be strong, for her own sake. But it was all a façade. Rose knew she wasn't as tough as she made herself seem. The smallest of things made her cry. She had a soft heart even though she tried to harden herself since the world was so cruel she didn't want to be weak. She showed people the person she wanted to be, not the person she truly was. It was all smoke and mirrors to someone who didn't want to see the real her.

The only person who knew her better than she knew herself had abandoned her for the stupidest reason imaginable. It hurt her more than words could express.

As Rose walked up to Gryffindor Tower, she felt more alone than ever. There was a hole in her heart and she didn't know how to fix it.

She walked into the sixth year girls' washroom and looked at her reflection. She could not recognize the girl in the mirror. She decided Scorpius was right. She shouldn't do this to herself. She needed to get back on track.

She did a spell to make her hair go back to its original fiery red color and she removed the kohl from her eyes. They were bloodshot and tears spilled from them. She couldn't go on like this, she knew that. She knew she needed to try to be her old self again. She took out her packet of cigarettes from her robe and threw it away. It was time to make amends. It was a long way to go from where she had come to back where she used to be. But she had to start somewhere, no matter how long the road ahead may be.

_So how was it? Reviews are much appreciated. They almost make me as happy as pandas do._

_-Zoha_


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